Monday, May 4, 2015

In Turmoil

A lot of you are asking why? I have also asked myself the same question.
A lot of you think that I'm crazy, I'm stupid and I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.
A lot of you tells me, "its a dream job", "it's an offer of a lifetime", "grab it, opportunity seldom knocks" and a lot more.

All I can say is that, I'm not really happy. Sure thing that this job offers security but would I really subject myself to staying, be secured even though I detest it? To tell you honestly, I'm also scared, very very scared. That what if, after this, I have nowhere to go?What if its another failure? What if I really made the biggest mistake of my life by resigning, and what if I'll be jobless again?

I have lot of things going in my mind. Then there's some advice from those people around me telling me to take the job for I'm not getting any younger anymore and my chances in the job market are getting slim.

However, As I have been thinking, I haven't seen myself growing in this job. I think I have been more cynical than ever. I have been more judgmental. And slowly, what seems to be taboo for me before, is slowly becoming acceptable.

I don't know if my decision is right or wrong but I just listen to what my heart is telling me. I'm making the leap of faith and I'm hoping that God is the one who is in control and its not just me rebelling and being obstinate.

<3 Lord, help me please. Take control and steer me in the direction where I can glorify your name more. Amen.  <3

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