In Turmoil

A lot of you are asking why? I have also asked myself the same question.
A lot of you think that I'm crazy, I'm stupid and I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.
A lot of you tells me, "its a dream job", "it's an offer of a lifetime", "grab it, opportunity seldom knocks" and a lot more.

All I can say is that, I'm not really happy. Sure thing that this job offers security but would I really subject myself to staying, be secured even though I detest it? To tell you honestly, I'm also scared, very very scared. That what if, after this, I have nowhere to go?What if its another failure? What if I really made the biggest mistake of my life by resigning, and what if I'll be jobless again?

I have lot of things going in my mind. Then there's some advice from those people around me telling me to take the job for I'm not getting any younger anymore and my chances in the job market are getting slim.

However, As I have been thinking, I haven't seen myself growing in this job. I think I have been more cynical than ever. I have been more judgmental. And slowly, what seems to be taboo for me before, is slowly becoming acceptable.

I don't know if my decision is right or wrong but I just listen to what my heart is telling me. I'm making the leap of faith and I'm hoping that God is the one who is in control and its not just me rebelling and being obstinate.

<3 Lord, help me please. Take control and steer me in the direction where I can glorify your name more. Amen.  <3

THAT FEELING...

      You know that feeling that you are not really happy with your life? That you think that you are merely existing and not living? That your doubting of whether you really have any purpose in this world? That feeling that you have this big and wonderful dreams however you think that your are not exactly going in  that direction and it seems very far off? That feeling that you are not happy with your job and your guilty because you know that you should be grateful because you have one and you are really not? That feeling that when you choose to resign, you will be in everyone's beck and call again?That feeling that sometimes you just wish to die but then you're afraid cause it might be a painful death? That feeling that you don't really have a clue of what to do with your life? and no matter how much you try, these nagging and awful feelings just keep coming back to hunt you down.
       I don't want to stay like this. I want to be a better person. I want to be the best of what I can be. I want to give my family a comfortable life. I want to try and experience a lot of things. I want to travel around the globe. I want to help others and make a dent into this world. I want to give, give and give. I want to provide houses, jobs and livelihood to other people. I want to make a change but I just don't know how. :(

2015 WILL BE MY GREATEST YEAR EVER! THANK YOU LORD! :)

New Year! New Life!

I'm starting my resolutions again. I can't say that I have stick with it all year round but atleast I have started a little of this and that. I don't want to be hard on myself at this time and I want to congratulate and be happy of my little achievements. So, I'm rewriting my promises for this coming year and I hope that this time, I'll be at the top of my game. I hope to God.

1. Be positive
2. Read good books. Lessen the romance girl!3. Be THANKFUL.
4. EXERCISE more.5. Learn a New Skill or take a course.
6. Save and Invest.7. Lessen Facebook more.
8. Be PRODUCTIVE.
9. Cut the bad foods.
10. Be a blessing and a gift to other people.
11. TRAVEL a lot!
12. Be generous.
13. Be brave and be a risk taker.
14. Win millions.
15. Learn a New Language.
16. Practice Yoga.
17. Be in LOve.

2015! PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME! LORD PLEASE!

DREAM

Dream like you've never dreamed before! Dream like all your dreams will come true. DREAM! DREAM MORE! and DREAM  BEST!

All I want for Xmas

Santa Dearest,
             I know that I haven't been very nice this year and I have been a little bit naughty but I hope that you'll help me with my wish. I hope that I'll be your partner in bringing happiness to those people around me. I do hope I'll be able to give gifts to my family, friends and especially those little adorable kiddos. I don't know if my money is enough to make this happen but I am praying for some miracles. I hope that God will multiply what I have just like what he did to those loaves and fish. Santa, I'm praying and wishing for some supernatural phenomenon and I'll find a pot of gold in our backyard tomorrow morning. Hehehe. But seriously, please help me. PRETTY PLEASE! :)

Israel, here I come!

I declare it! I claim it! I will be joining with Bro. Bro on a holy pilgrimage to Israel this February 10, 2015. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Lord!