Israel, here I come!

I declare it! I claim it! I will be joining with Bro. Bro on a holy pilgrimage to Israel this February 10, 2015. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Lord!

that direction ->

Its definitely time for change. I know I've been speaking about it for a very long time but I guess this time, I need to be true to my word. Honestly, until this time, I haven't have any clue how to change my life. I want to be financially free... I want to be mature...I want to be successful...but it seems that my future is a little bit blurry. However, I think I need to change my inner self. It's time to let go of the remnants of my negativity. I think I'm regressing back to my old self. Frustration and self pity is eating my spirit again.
 Lord, please help me to change my life. I know I haven't been good lately. I have take my worldly and sinful self to take over. Lord, PLEASE HELP ME..PLEASEEE

        Call it intuition  or simply paranoia but I have a feeling that something big will happen this year. I hope that its the breakthrough that I've been waiting for. However, I'm determined this time to make a jump start in all aspects of my life. Year 2013 had been a rock hill journey. Disappointments, pains, failures and dissatisfaction shadows me all year round. But as they've said, everything happens for a reason and I hope I have learned my lessons very well. This year, I want to make changes in my life. I don't want to be the same person anymore. I want to GROW and I want to LEARN. Make this 2014 be a stellar year for me. Help me please O Lord.

            So sad that none of my new year's resolution had been realized. I had the kicked off for the first few months but during the last quarter, all of my goals just went to the drain. Hayyy, so much of my self discipline, so today I'm starting my resolutions again. I hope at the end of the year, I will end up being victorious. So what are my goals? **Drum roll insert here**. Here are the list.
1. Be positive.
2. Save
3. Exercise. Abs please.
4. Learn New Things.
5. Lessen Facebooking.
6. Be productive.
7. Cut the sugar intake especially coke.
8. Be a blessing and a gift to other people.
9. Travel

                Today I found out that I have been totally selfish. I was only thinking of my own self. I keep wishing to be rich for all the wrong reasons so I guess that's why none of my plans work to get me into this direction. I have longed for things that are not really important and I keep comparing other people's wondrous life to mine. I  was so busy being conscious of what I don't have in life and I keep looking for what's lacking that I was not aware that I was drowning myself to the sea of hopelessness and bitterness. And I realized that when you dwell so much on negativity, you will no longer see how wonderful life can be. Instead of focusing on the beautiful things, you tend to find fault in everything-it might be a situation or a person.
                 But today, I challenged myself to have a better perspective and to see the goodness and beauty of every God's creation. I promised to strive to work hard and to be productive so sooner I can help uplift the lives of others and the life of my family. I will strive to speak good and kind words and to make an effort to bring smile to those who are around me.

           It took me a long time to realize that only I can help myself. These past few
years, I have been deluding myself that everything will just come easy for me- that everything will be served in a silver platter and I will just come to the dinner table and have my fill. But life doesn't really work like that. And that where I got the biggest mistake of my life. Don't take me wrong but I also have my share of hardwork and perseverance when it comes to achieving my dreams but I guess I haven't try very hard and my efforts are just insufficient.

           So this is a catalyst for a new me and a brighter tomorrow. This is a covenant for me to make a halt on everything that makes me miserable. Indeed ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Enough thinking of the "what could have been" and stop thinking of the "what ifs".
Enough of my procrastination.
Enough of my self doubt.
Enough of trying to please everybody.
Enough thinking of all my worries and fears. 
Enough selling myself short.
Enough of stagnating my mind with garbage thoughts which just make me feel inadequate.
Enough comparing notes between my life and others.
Enough of being envious of other people's opulent life. and coveting things which I don't have.
 
           These things had been slowly killing my relationship with my family, my friends, with other people and mostly with my own self.  I had already a long period of hibernation and I think its now time to get back on the world of the living. And I will come with a vengeance and not will I only bounce back but I promise to bounce back higher. I promise  that from  now on, I will not let fear and self doubt to  cripple me. I pledge allegiance to my faith in God and faith with myself that I can surpass the insurmountable mountains and I will not stop until I have reached the top of the hill. And now begins my odyssey. <3